Out of a Box

I was walking with a good friend of mine the other day and I was telling her how unsettled I feel with the apartment. Telling her that I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but saying that "once we are in the house," it will all be better. She turned to me and said, life out of a box. That was it. In a matter of seconds, she perfectly described what I've been feeling for the past 2 years, but could never quite articulate. My clothes aren't in a box, they're just in our office, but life to me has been living out of a box. With the state and size of our apartment, we live in complete chaos. We try not to, but it is inevitable.

Rehab of any sort involves hope. Hope and waiting. Hope, waiting, and patience. Ah, yes... patience. We have been patient, and we definitely have been waiting, but we have also been telling ourselves that once we're in the house we'll start going for walks. Once we're in the house, that's when we'll start dressing more like we're in our twenties and less like the preadolescent attire that lines our office. It's become so ingrained in our everyday lives, that just as my friend so eloquently put it, we have been living out of a box. Waiting for life to begin, waiting for us to move into the house.

We are conscious of how we live, but it's out of a box. In every sense of the word, we truly are box people. Our dinner last night? Three boxes. All cooked within the electrical box we have come to love so dearly. Nathan calls it astronaut food, I call it dinner. Our books, paint brushes, skates, and dishes. Boxed, boxed, boxed, and boxed. We have more storage than any one person I know and we are only in our mid twenties. Did the temperature just change? Don't worry, I'll go get our box of winter clothes from storage. Need to make a casserole for Thanksgiving? Don't fret (did I just use that word), I'll go get it from storage (NOTE: Actual Thanksgiving cranberries were served in a bowl from Dierbergs. I couldn't find any in storage. All right, I didn't bother to look). If this rehab has taught me one thing, it's been to live life in the present. To live, love, and enjoy what you have, and forget about the rest. That and once we move into the house, we're giving away a lot of our stuff.

Coming Soon, Astronaut Food: How to prepare, consume, and deal with the aftermath.

Progress

Progress with the house is going well, still! Our plumber was paid by the disbursing company, which was good, and subsequently I am hopeful that that will mean further completion on their part. The electricians are almost done and after that point the only thing that stands between us and the house, is us. That is both scary and exhilarating to say the least. With the holidays coming up, it's even harder for me to think about working on the house, and the weather has been really forgiving of us so far!

We also picked up our windows and doors that were stripped at Prott Brothers. I honestly think that has to be one of the best all time purchases for us, hands down. I only wish I could pay someone to come in and strip our existign woodwork. Do people even do that? If so, email me ASAP!!!! tinyk@jitneyboy.com

I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving!

Electric Youth

Loved that song. Debbie Gibson. I think I was 10. Anyway, things with the house are going GREAT!! I am really excited about everything and think we can be in there maybe even sooner than anticipated! Nathan doesn't seem to think so, and he is the brains behind the operation, but I am still hopeful!

The electrician is here again today and last night he started wiring the upstairs bedroom! It's really encouraging to see so much progress in such a short time. It gets me energized and excited about life! The outlet casings (is that the proper terminology?) have been put in upstairs and a few of the ceiling light holders (again, not the right words, but you get the idea. I hope) have also been installed!! I can't wait until we are in the house!!! Somedays I love rehabbing! Other days I hate rehabbing!

PS - Bush still sucks.

PPS - Thought you all would enjoy this one:



Love ya husband!

PPPS - Yesterday our electrician used the term "cutting logs" for um...well...you know, while also educating us on "fart fans." Gotta love 'em!

Disbursing - schmursing

Dear Financially-minded people. You all suck. My head hurts just thinking about you. Seriously.

I am excited about the progress of the house thus far (the electricians started TODAY! Can I get a woop woop?), but I want to vent about the financial and legal part of the rehab process. Rehabbing is hard work (it's HARD WORK Mr. Bush!!!!). It looks hard when Nathan leaves the house geared up in work-boots and rehab attire...coming home at night, covered in dirt. It was hard hauling plaster bucketful by bucketful down the stairs and into a giant dumpster, and watching Joe, Jonah, Paul, Nathan, and Al tackle the side-porch looked difficult to say the least. However, with that said, the process of the loan application, the bank, and the disbursement company are all seemingly impossible in comparison. Seriously, I am not retarded, but the bank makes me feel that way. The week was spent learning that I have NOT been completing our vouchers to how they should be, and trying to understand why. It's been a long week. I think I have finally figured it out, but I am sure I just think I have. I am sure next week will be a different story, after we find out our plumbers have not yet been paid.

Anyway, I am really going nowhere with this, but I wanted to share that with everyone. And no, I don't hate financially-minded people. I admire you all for understanding!!! Dad, that means you!

Crushed

I should have written yesterday, or maybe the day before. I was excited about the house and the progress we had been making. In particular, the progress Nathan had been making. But in the grand scheme of things, with all of the election news, I am just sad. I don't care about the house or when we'll be moved in. All I can think is I hope this is temporary.

I am saddened to be an American. Embarrassed and ashamed that the people of this country, a country with which my relationship has always been love-hate, have elected Bush. Again. I am so disappointed in the election results that tears welled up my eyes several times today. Not only do I feel my voice has not been heard, I feel it has been silenced.

My parents would probably say I am being dramatic, and that I usually am, but today I feel justified in my sadness. I have lost hope in America and no longer believe in what it stands for. I am ashamed at what America values. I am frightened at what will happen for us as a country, to us as citizens, and for humanity as a whole. It is no longer the land of the free, but the land of the imprisoned free-thinker.

I could go on and on about how wrong I feel the war was from the beginning, or how the line between Church and State no longer resembles a line at all, but I will not. It just makes me more angry and more upset. It's frightening to think of what is to come. Part of me wants to run for the hills and leave. Step out now while I can, before the rest of the world closes it's doors to the US permanently. Part of me thinks they should. Part of me wants to stay here and fight. Nathan himself taught me the value of not leaving when times were tough, on sticking it out to let our voices be heard. I want to be the change I wish to see in the world. Isn't that Gandhi left us with? Isn't that what we should do?

Yet I feel hopeless. I feel sickened by the over consumption and selfishness this country deems to value. Where are my values represented? Who is representing me and my ideals? And, what now? What am I supposed to do for the next four years when all I hear regarding this country makes me sick to my stomach? The headline for today reads, "America has Spoken." It's nauseating. I am left feeling tearful, frightened, and sad. I'm hoping tomorrow will be a better day.