Fear vs Logic

I'm growing tired of talking about the house for now, and want more to gripe about some other odds and ends that I find increasingly of interest. For one, walking. I love to walk. Not power, mall, feats-of-strength-walking, but rather lack-of-car-walking. Public transportation, metro, to work and back walking. This has been both a source of tension between some, mainly those concerned with my safety and the safety of women in general, but it has also been a topic of discussion among Nathan and I as well (not that he doesn't fit into the first category, but he's more interested in making it work than persuading me otherwise).

Ideally, Nathan and I would only own one car, and that would be used for traveling outside the city, or for hauling our latest project supplies from the hardware store or other. I would of course, in a perfect world, walk the mile and a half distance to work, and take the Metrolink to the grocery store or bank, but unfortunately, the Metrolink is only plausible to take if I drive to it first, and walking for me is out of the question for a multitude of reasons. For one, I am not brave enough to walk in North city for great lengths, without my husband or some burly man whom is classified as a lethal weapon, along side me. The second reason is my father would kill me. Literally.

I have found this to be one of the hardest parts of being married to and becoming an urban pioneer myself. I want to live and if I may quote Ghandi for the moment, "be the change I wish to see in the world," or even within the city of St. Louis, but I do not yet know how. I have wondered if it really would be dangerous for me to walk, ride my bike, or take the bus from where I live to where I need to go, but then I am always confronted with crime statistics and the general media-scare that seems to generate more fear than news itself. I have thought about maybe not walking, but riding my bike instead, but then have witnessed three people within the past two months not only run through stop signs on my way to work, but blaze through them leaving only a cloud of smoke and me dumbfounded with my foot on the brake, behind. I also had a neighbor of mine from where I grew up, ride his bike in the Central West End only to be hit by a car and killed, in addition to know two other people who survived getting hit by cars while riding around the streets of St. Louis. Is it the case where St. Louis drivers are not accustomed to sharing the roads with bikers or pedestrians (I have visited countless other cities where pedestrians flock in such great numbers that cars are forced to stop and wait), or does the fault lie in the street design itself. Or rather, is it that it happens everywhere and all the time, regardless of the city, and I am just plain sacred and making excuses.

Bottom line is I wish so badly to toss our excess cars and to walk, ride, or use public transportation to work, but I am yet able to muster up the courage to do so. I think if I lived in Tower Grove, CWE, or otherwise, I would, but I'm not sure the north side is ready, or rather I am not ready to brave the north side just yet. I am however, really open to hearing others experiences and perhaps even some crime statistics that would help bring myself and others out from under the albatross of driving to work, to the other side and to take that leap our city needs. For now, I'll just be sitting in my car, gathering the courage I need to do just that.