Crushed
I should have written yesterday, or maybe the day before. I was excited about the house and the progress we had been making. In particular, the progress Nathan had been making. But in the grand scheme of things, with all of the election news, I am just sad. I don't care about the house or when we'll be moved in. All I can think is I hope this is temporary.
I am saddened to be an American. Embarrassed and ashamed that the people of this country, a country with which my relationship has always been love-hate, have elected Bush. Again. I am so disappointed in the election results that tears welled up my eyes several times today. Not only do I feel my voice has not been heard, I feel it has been silenced.
My parents would probably say I am being dramatic, and that I usually am, but today I feel justified in my sadness. I have lost hope in America and no longer believe in what it stands for. I am ashamed at what America values. I am frightened at what will happen for us as a country, to us as citizens, and for humanity as a whole. It is no longer the land of the free, but the land of the imprisoned free-thinker.
I could go on and on about how wrong I feel the war was from the beginning, or how the line between Church and State no longer resembles a line at all, but I will not. It just makes me more angry and more upset. It's frightening to think of what is to come. Part of me wants to run for the hills and leave. Step out now while I can, before the rest of the world closes it's doors to the US permanently. Part of me thinks they should. Part of me wants to stay here and fight. Nathan himself taught me the value of not leaving when times were tough, on sticking it out to let our voices be heard. I want to be the change I wish to see in the world. Isn't that Gandhi left us with? Isn't that what we should do?
Yet I feel hopeless. I feel sickened by the over consumption and selfishness this country deems to value. Where are my values represented? Who is representing me and my ideals? And, what now? What am I supposed to do for the next four years when all I hear regarding this country makes me sick to my stomach? The headline for today reads, "America has Spoken." It's nauseating. I am left feeling tearful, frightened, and sad. I'm hoping tomorrow will be a better day.
I am saddened to be an American. Embarrassed and ashamed that the people of this country, a country with which my relationship has always been love-hate, have elected Bush. Again. I am so disappointed in the election results that tears welled up my eyes several times today. Not only do I feel my voice has not been heard, I feel it has been silenced.
My parents would probably say I am being dramatic, and that I usually am, but today I feel justified in my sadness. I have lost hope in America and no longer believe in what it stands for. I am ashamed at what America values. I am frightened at what will happen for us as a country, to us as citizens, and for humanity as a whole. It is no longer the land of the free, but the land of the imprisoned free-thinker.
I could go on and on about how wrong I feel the war was from the beginning, or how the line between Church and State no longer resembles a line at all, but I will not. It just makes me more angry and more upset. It's frightening to think of what is to come. Part of me wants to run for the hills and leave. Step out now while I can, before the rest of the world closes it's doors to the US permanently. Part of me thinks they should. Part of me wants to stay here and fight. Nathan himself taught me the value of not leaving when times were tough, on sticking it out to let our voices be heard. I want to be the change I wish to see in the world. Isn't that Gandhi left us with? Isn't that what we should do?
Yet I feel hopeless. I feel sickened by the over consumption and selfishness this country deems to value. Where are my values represented? Who is representing me and my ideals? And, what now? What am I supposed to do for the next four years when all I hear regarding this country makes me sick to my stomach? The headline for today reads, "America has Spoken." It's nauseating. I am left feeling tearful, frightened, and sad. I'm hoping tomorrow will be a better day.
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